Sorry, doll. I wish I had a way to make that pain all go away.
emily, your feelings are all too familiar. you are not alone. sometimes feeling like you don't do anything makes you feel like you don't have an identity. you do. you exist, you have a spirit. you are all the things that you say and feel and love and you exist 100% and occupy the world as much as anyone. sometimes it is hard to feel "worth" when we seem to be only a headache, a walking headache and that's it. i feel that a lot - like i have no accomplishments, nothing i am good at. just a headache. it has stolen years from my life, stolen the time i would spend on hobbies and skills and relationships. i often feel useless. unskilled. not where i should be at this age. try not to feel those things. you are so worthy and so real and so present in life, even if it feels like you don't exist. people love you. your thoughts and feelings matter. just being around matters. plus, you are so accomplished compared to so many people. you have blessings you don't see. family who loves you. musical ability. a loving heart. compassion. depth. values. you are precious - so try not to identify with the "i am nothing" persona. you are so much.
Awwww...you are a stay at home wife. I met two stay at home wives last night at Bible study. They loved it and they felt that they had so much purpose by focusing on their marriage and God.
I so wish you felt better!