it's probably good that i didn't write yesterday, as i was somewhat upset. byalso, (huh my font just changed on its own. weird) i went out to our back porch the other day, b/c i had bought some plants. lots of herbs. sage, oregano, chamomile, lavender, etc....and i've decided that the back porch gets more sun than the front porch (which we use more often). the front porch has our little chair and tables on it, so we can eat outside sometimes. so i go out back, and this pigeon flaps up in my face and then flies away. whew. i figured we just scared each other. but then i notice that said pigeon has pooped all over our balcony! bah! this sucks because i'm going to have to clean it off at some point! eeww~! THEN i notice that there's a nest under one of the chairs out there -- with two eggs! cute.
somewhat upset, i mostly just mean mad. :)
in any case, i had another visit with my neurologist yesterday - for those who have
no idea why, or what in the blazes i'm talking about here's a (real) quick summary: i
have chronic daily migraines. that means i have a migraine all day, every day.
they are the reason i don't have a job right now, or go to school. i think that about
covers it.
instead of ranting about the doctor and the things he said that really made me mad
(* please note that my husband and sister were already subjected to much of this
talk), i'll try to stick to the outcomes and my feelings about them....
1. i'm going to see a psychiatrist - this is for a few reasons. #1 is to rule out
the possibility that these headaches are caused by stress, depression, or anxiety.
i've tried MANY times to tell my doctor that the headaches are what cause my stress,
depression, and anxiety, but there IS always the possibility he's right. ;)
apparently it's frequently the cause when so many medicines have failed to have any
impact on the headaches *(that is, me). so i'm willing to check it out, even though
i (obviously) don't believe that's the case. but seriously, does ANYONE believe
that's what is causing their headaches? probably not. we shall see. #2 is to deal
with the lifestyle of chronic pain. (see depression, stress and anxiety mentioned
above)my doc says that the longer a headache continues
on without being helped by treatments or meds, the more likely it is to continue. in
other words, this headache could be a permanent thing i need to figure out how to
actually live with. this leads us neatly to #2:
the next step from here (if the psychiatrist visits don't yield any improvement) is
a pain clinic. those of you unfamiliar with chronic pain may not be familiar with
the idea of a pain clinic, either....it means you go to visit a team of ppl, designed
to help you live with the pain you have, and lessen it. (some readers may have MORE
experience with this than i, forgive me if i'm over-simplifying or misinformed).
basically, this means my doctor has given up trying to fix me, and that we're in a
maintenance phase now. which has its good points and it's bad points: on a good note,
i may start getting some pain relief for the day-to-day pain that keeps me in bed so
much, instead of just the very worst headaches...(that's an entire other story) -- so
OBVIOUSLY i'm pleased as punch about that idea. BUT it also means a far less likely
'fix'. there are possibilities of fixing, still, at the pain clinic - but for
migraines, not as likely as other things. oh, back to the team. this = doctors,
physical therapists, and psychiatrists. bueno. these doctors can try not only meds,
but also patches (of painkillers), injections, and etc...whew. could get interesting,
folks. you don't want to miss this. ;)
and, as a random last-ditch try, we're going to try another drug. of course! it'll
leave me with good memories of all the neurologists past, and the many drugs i've
tried that haven't worked.
ok, on a completely unrelated note, i read this today and thought it was pretty
funny. mostly b/c it's true.
* * * * What is an Antique? * * * *
An antique is something your grandmother bought, your mother
threw out, and you are now buying back.
so every time since then i've gone out to water the plants, the pigeon has flapped up in my face, and i'm thinkin.....you know, you could just stay put and i wouldn't bother you. i just want to water my plants, and then i'll leave. the pigeon does not seem to realize that it is MY porch! i pay rent on it! in any case, i'm glad that it's there, and this morning i heard highpitched squacky sounds coming from out there, so i think there are baby pigeons!! hooray! if i can, i'll get a picture, but the mama pigeon may very well be getting more aggressive. whew. we shall see.
ok, that's possibly the longest blog entry EVER.
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Muum had this to say:
oh, I am so sorry, dear! I wonder about that headache clinic in Philadelphia?? I want so much for your headaches to go away. love you.
- 11:22 AM
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Master Enigma had this to say:
Emily,
I have migraines on occassion. It is rare for men to have them so therefore it is only right that I do.
*smile*
I have spent my days in bed in the dark before. But I only get them on occassion. So I have never seen anyone for relief.
I pray that you get some help.
If you ever want to chat about this or anything - feel free to email me.
Lots of folks are on your side.
- Jonathan aka Enigma- 2:25 PM
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Sarah Jean had this to say:
Ya, Sass. You are beautiful, intelligent and lots of people like you.
Seriously, you know my thoughts on all this already. You didn't include the pharmacy rant, though...a fitting epilogue to the whole day, IMO.
See you soon!
Edge- 2:58 PM
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Heather had this to say:
Oh, I am HOPING AND PRAYING that something will work for you and make the pain go away.
Sounds like a frustrating day, to say the least.
Take care of yourself.- 3:19 PM
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Kimmy had this to say:
Praying for and thinking of you, too!
- 1:08 AM
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- 10:10 PM
