Wednesday, May 24, 2006
What's for dinner Wednesday?

hmmm.....for me? i don't really know yet! i'm picking up my husband from the airport today at 6:30 -- and from there, we might either go to a party (food) or stay home (i'll make food) or to our church youth group (i'll make really quick food). ;) but i'll tell you about dinner last night instead. my grandma took us out to tepanyaki -- which is one of those restaurants (like benihana) where the chefs cook your food right in front of you, and do tricks, and make big fires, etc.... it was great fun. i got the chicken and shrimp meal, and it was delicious! i ate all the shrimp, but by the time my chicken came (which was also delicious), i was stuffed! so i brought that home with me. :)

sooooo...what are YOU having for dinner tonight? or what did you have for dinner last night? i'd love to hear all about it -- recipes even are WELCOME!


and now for more about my Headaches. if you're tired of hearing about them (and i can definitely understand why), feel free to leave now. but i know i have family and friends out there who get better updates from this site than from phone calls. so here it is! i went to see my psychologist on monday, and it went well. the lady i met with was very nice, and we got along well right from the start. i cried more than i expected to, but i guess that's the nature of things. in the end, she felt like i was pretty well adjusted and that stress, anxiety and depression have not brought these headaches on or contributed to their continuation. i decided i'll go see her a couple more times, so we can talk about coping mechanisms for pain, as well as how to 'reinvent' myself, should it become necessary. for most of my life, i've had the plan that i'd teach piano lessons, play piano for the rest of my life -- in addition to raising a family. but if these headaches continue....that's not going to be a possibility. i have high hopes that the pain clinic can help me lower my pain levels enough so i CAN still do that. .... but i have to be realistic and know that that MAY NOT be the case. i don't know what they can and can't do. so, anyway, that was a tangent. i may need to find a new path in life - a new career, a new 'hobby', and love. i don't know right now.

and then the SECOND big piece of headache news is this: the pain clinic called me and have scheduled me for an appointment on september 12th. whew. that's a LONG ways away. i pretty much expected it, and am actually glad it's not longer. when i asked the receptionist if there was a list she could put me on, in case someone cancelled, she said no BUT i can call her every week and ask her about cancellations. so i will! i'm hoping i'll be able to get in this summer that way. **fingers crossed**






10 Comments:
Anonymous HolyMama! had this to say:

oh emily!

what an interesting place you're in! is that a positive way of putting it, or what?!

praying that you find what exactly it is that you might need to change, and thankful that 'your steps are ordered by the Lord.'

2:58 PM 

Blogger Heather had this to say:

((((((Emily))))))

I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but you're so young to have to be dealing with this right now. I am so awed by your courage and your positive attitude.

Hugs and Prayers coming your way, that the right answers will come and that you'll be able to find your way through all of this.

Thanks for keeping us updated.

4:17 PM 

Blogger Emily had this to say:

you guys are so sweet. i appreciate it more than i can say. prayers are ALWAYS appreciated. i know God knows of my situation, but i appreciate the positive energy that comes my way. :)

7:57 PM 

Blogger Muum had this to say:

you are brave and wonderful, love you

6:38 AM 

Blogger House Warden had this to say:

I won't tell you what we had, or should I say where we stopped off and got food on the way home from SLC, late. But I did make some killer Chicken Parmigana the day before, I plan on posting that on my website on one of my recipe mondays, when I get back in the routine.
I'm sorry to hear things aren't getting any better with your headaches. Having to deal with bad ones for over a week everyday, I can kind of feel for you, it was tough. I hope somewhere, someone finds some answer. Our family knows what it's like tring to figure out what a health issue is and get no where, it's so frustrating. So I hope the Lord guides you to where you need to go and you find what you need.

2:21 PM 

Blogger terri had this to say:

hey emily, sorry to hear the headaches are still dragging you down. it is truly a drag on the spirit and the soul. i don't want to be hokey, or fatalistic and say "there's a reason for headaches" because i don't believe that. i think it's just dumb luck. BUT...i will say that they can help provide a lot of perspective and a lot of self-growth. from having this albatross around my neck, i've learned to pace myself, be kinder to myself, to slow down and smell the roses. it's made me more empathic, more humble, more real. i feel deeper and wider. i was always a conscious person, an introspective thinker-type, but living with chronic pain has taught me a lot about resilience, has strengthened my character, has led to greater self-acceptance. it is limiting. but it also forces us in directions we might not have taken. it's a change in the path we planned for ourselves, but hopefully it will lead to brighter and different things that draw out other parts of your personality and character than you planned for. one thing i have learned is to surround myself with people who support me, who truly care for me, and who truly "see" me for who i am. there is nothing superficial about my life any more, and headaches have helped me focus on family and close friends because, simply, i need them. people need to be needed, so ask when you need help, and try not to judge yourself. i struggle with that a lot...judging myself as a failure because of headaches. but it isn't your doing, nor your wish, and you are making the best of it. good for you for talking to a psychologist. that is brilliant. there is so much emotion in all of this, especially if you are a feeling, loving person in the first place. headaches and pain take so much out of you, emotionally, so it is great to talk to someone about coping, someone you can cry with, for there are many things we have lost and you need to mourn those things and cry and be sad and angry. it's a process, like anything, of loss and recovery. the pain itself is bad enough, but its consequences seem so overwhelming on our lives. it sounds like you are surrounded by people who love you. and while it's hard to see it, this is a gift that will teach you things you mightn't have learned, and will also teach the people around you. i once read a quote "when you need a teacher, one will come". i kind of thought that meant "the right person" will come into my life when i need it. but sometimes a teacher can be an illness or a condition. while i am not fatalistic, i think this is a teacher, and i am meant to glean some wisdom from it. maybe about learning to love myself just as i am. hang in there girl. you are a wonderful girl with a huge heart and relief will come and blessings will come. you will be angry and sad and feel torn and confused. try to accept yourself in the place you are at those times. let yourself feel those emotions. having someone to talk to helps, as you can vent, or rage, or feel sorry for yourself and let it all out, explore it, and hopefully transform it into power. love to you!!

7:20 PM 

Blogger Pink Chihuahua Princess had this to say:

I'm just stopping by to say hi! I hope you have a great and fun and pain free weekend.

5:46 PM 

Anonymous JD had this to say:

You got it!!! No no a head ache the Flip up award! I am sorry about the headaches though.

I can E-mail you the code for the award if you would like my stumpy thumb on your most stellar bloggy.
Just email me.
jankifer@msn.com

10:58 PM 

Blogger Stephanie had this to say:

Just found you through JD. I am so sorry about your headaches. I am going to visit the archives to hear more about it.

What a cruel trick nature is playing on you.

I hope they ease up a little this weekend. You deserve a fun one.

11:35 PM 

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6:50 PM 

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I'm 25 - married, and recently graduated from Brigham Young University, studying music; I play piano. My husband is just starting his PhD program at the University of Utah in computer architecture.

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