Sunday, June 22, 2008
onward and upward

well here we go --

to the new blog!

come along with me, won't you?

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Friday, June 20, 2008

something big is coming.....

to a sassy lime near you! my husband has finally convinced me to switch domain names. i will tell more once the switch is complete. but i don't want you to see it till it's all finished and perfect!

i'm pretty excited, there will be a new look -- which of course means i've enlisted my husband's help. and will i get my blogroll reorganized? only time will tell...

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Thursday, June 19, 2008
Hard Conversations and Tough Choices

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create that fact. -- William James

i read a super entry over at In Sickness and In Health the other day -- this just helps remind me how much my blogroll needs a revamping. she should be on my blogroll, along with 5 or 6 new favorite pain blogs.

Barbara talks about not only the many social difficulties associated with chronic pain, but the difficulties it brings to a marriage relationship, as well. thus, the hard conversations. pain is hard, but for me, it's not nearly as hard as the feeling that i'm missing out on my own life. i hate cancelling at the last minute and sitting out while others are working or playing hard. these are the tough choices pain forces you to make for yourself.

Read it. :)

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Monday, June 16, 2008
starting off with some random movie quotes

"Doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream." (from Juno)

"At some point, life stops giving and starts taking." (from Indiana Jones...Crystal Skull)

and some links that may amuse --

the funniest post i've ever read about bra shopping -- by the Suburban correspondent

LOL Cats -- Opacity

a great picture of my husband

It's a camera -- no! it's a gun! -- via Boing Boing

LOL Cats -- I iz nu heer

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Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father's Day

i love my dad. so much that i won't post a picture of him here. :)

he's touchy about things like 'privacy' and not having his picture posted on the internet. fair enough. it's not for me, but i get it.

but i will tell you a little bit about him and how much i love him. and why i'm so lucky that he is my dad.

mostly i'm lucky because without him, i wouldn't be the woman i am.

the thing is, i don't talk about it much, but music is what makes my soul sing. i can't live without it, and it nourishes me. i need it.

i'm sure the reason i need it, the reason i love it is because of my dad. he taught me to read music, to listen to music, to feel music, and to love music. you might be thinking that a person can't be taught to love music or to listen to music -- and that might not be entirely true. but in some ways it is. i remember laying on the carpet in our living room with the score of the 1812 overture, listening to it playing (loudly of course) over the stereo. and dad would follow the music along with his finger, jabbing the cannon bursts like exclamation points.

he would trace the different national anthems along for me to see how they were woven through by tchaikovsky. he showed me how dynamics worked in a tangible and exciting way.

of course my dad has loved me and supported me through difficult times; breakups and disappointments. but nurturing my love of music is one of the things that endears him to me most of all.

i love you dad!

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Saturday, June 14, 2008
I Won!?!

So my bloggy friend Chili had a contest -- and it's really somewhat shameful that i'm just writing about it now. but i won!! eeeee!

if you click on the contest link above, you'll see that the contest was for a shirt from Trendy Tadpole -- a great store with super cute, modern designs. you really should go check it out.

i chose the Cherry Blossom onesie, for my newest niece -- but was SERIOUSLY tempted by the ABCD: for those about to read, we salute you. how cute is that? i just linked here b/c i don't want to rip off their images. and seeing how she's not my baby, i don't have any pictures of the actual cuteness.

but the onesie was adorable, and well made, and the image was perfect. check out trendy tadpole and thank you for the lovely shirt Chilihead and Trendy Tadpole!

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Friday, June 13, 2008

So here is an update from my little corner of the universe. it's been 2 weeks now and i've been off the Emsam -- the side effects are going away. my sleep is still getting back to normal. once in a while i'll wake up at 3 or 4 and not be able to get back to sleep, but it's the exception instead of the rule now. thank goodness. that kind of nonsense is unacceptable.

so the headache clinic told me to call yesterday and they would start me on the new preventative....soooo i call them up. leave a message of course. they call me back and say that my dr. doesn't want to start me on anything until i come in for an appointment. ooookay. i'm thinking why did you tell me to call? i say that i have an appointment on the 30th of june and since i'm in UTAH i can't come in any sooner (are you even looking at my chart or what?). so i'm somewhat irritated because this just continues my time being off any anti-depressant. which, frankly is somewhat sucky. i've been on an anti-depressant for 10 years. the last 3 years the dosage has been double the previous 7 years. so to be on nothing ... it's difficult to stay on an even keel.

so this little video cheers me up. it's a video of jason castro on american idol. talking about and singing memory from cats.

my favorite part (ok, the part with the talking is much better than the singing IMHO...) is at about 1:25 when he says 'this is kind of a popular song'.

ahahahahaha. so funny. i laughed till i cried.

mostly because that's just about the understatement of the century. ooh hoo hoo.

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Thursday, June 05, 2008

About four years ago this week, Spencer proposed to me. It was a surprise in some senses, and in other ways I was expecting it (the proposal) to come any day now. Since my birthday was coming up in a few weeks, I figured he'd probably wait and propose then.

He was living in Sacramento, doing an internship at Intel, while I was going to school at BYU in Provo, Utah. We talked every night and chatted online, but it was still hard to be apart. I missed him terribly.

So Spencer planned a long-distance date; we would both do the same things at the same time and talk on the phone during the date. The events that were planned included ice cream (one of my most favorite treats) and star gazing. I thought it sounded like a really sweet idea, and I could tell he was trying to help me not to miss him as much. Spencer had a prior commitment with his friend, so the date wasn't set to start until 10pm or so.

I set out to Ben & Jerry's for ice cream. I'd been looking forward to that all day. Once I arrived at Ben&Jerry's, I was to tell the cashier that she was Spencer Kellis' girlfriend. Then the cashier told me that I got a waffle cone and two scoops of ice cream, and that Spencer had already paid for it. There was also a red rose behind the counter for her. This was really nice, and at the time I was thinking, 'How did he manage that from California?' -- all the girls who worked there were asking me questions about this ├╝ber-romantic boyfriend of mine. I sat outside the shop, eating my ice cream and talking to Spencer on the phone. I thought the night had peaked. How romantic.

Then, it was time for star gazing. We'd decided on a field (next to Spencer's aunt's house) where she would go and look at the stars. When I pulled up, it was very dark, and a little bit late to be romping around in the dark on my own, so I locked the doors and told Spencer (over the phone) that I was going to watch the stars from inside the car. He insisted that I get out of my car. I mentioned that there were possibly boogey-men or thieves out there, and he'd most likely feel guilty if I were mugged while star-gazing over the phone with him. Regardless, he insisted that it was a safe field (?!) and that if anything went wrong, I could go to his aunt's house nearby. So off I went, into the deep dark yonder.

I walked towards the field, and as I went through the gate, I saw four tiki torches surrounding a porch swing and a small table with five dozen roses on it. Also, there was a tall man standing nearby. Once I realized that Spencer was there to see me, I ran to him and was so surprised to see him that I started crying. I couldn't *believe* that he had pulled this over on me and flew into Utah to surprise me. I hugged him and cried some more.

We sat on the swing and talked for a few minutes. Then Spencer asked if I was ready. I did not know what he was talking about. (I know, how stupid can I be, right?) Spencer got down on one knee and told me how much he loved me, that he wanted to make me happy for the rest of my life, and asked if I'd be his wife. I said, "Yes, of course!" Then, Spencer pulled a beautiful ring out of his pocket and put it on my finger. I was very impressed with the ring Spencer chose, I didn't help him to know what I wanted, but he knew me well enough to know exactly what I would like. It was the most romantic evening I could've asked for.
I love you more now than I did then, Spence. Thanks for taking a leap of faith and changing my life forever.

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the spotlight is on me!

Well, I'm so excited to tell you guys about this! i was interviewed for WEGO health -- a site for health activitists. they did a spotlight interview on me, isn't that cool? i don't think i've ever been interviewed for my blog before.

and i know that i have a couple of newer readers who may not have hunted through the archives for my full medical history (believe me, i don't blame you) -- this is your chance to get an encapsulated view of my life and health!


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Location: Salt Lake City, Utah, United States

I'm 25 - married, and recently graduated from Brigham Young University, studying music; I play piano. My husband is just starting his PhD program at the University of Utah in computer architecture.



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