Web www.thesassylime.blogspot.com

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create that fact. -- William James


i read a super entry over at In Sickness and In Health the other day -- this just helps remind me how much my blogroll needs a revamping. she should be on my blogroll, along with 5 or 6 new favorite pain blogs.

Barbara talks about not only the many social difficulties associated with chronic pain, but the difficulties it brings to a marriage relationship, as well. thus, the hard conversations. pain is hard, but for me, it's not nearly as hard as the feeling that i'm missing out on my own life. i hate cancelling at the last minute and sitting out while others are working or playing hard. these are the tough choices pain forces you to make for yourself.

Read it. :)

Labels: great entries, other bloggers, pain, pain issues

So here is an update from my little corner of the universe. it's been 2 weeks now and i've been off the Emsam -- the side effects are going away. my sleep is still getting back to normal. once in a while i'll wake up at 3 or 4 and not be able to get back to sleep, but it's the exception instead of the rule now. thank goodness. that kind of nonsense is unacceptable.

so the headache clinic told me to call yesterday and they would start me on the new preventative....soooo i call them up. leave a message of course. they call me back and say that my dr. doesn't want to start me on anything until i come in for an appointment. ooookay. i'm thinking why did you tell me to call? i say that i have an appointment on the 30th of june and since i'm in UTAH i can't come in any sooner (are you even looking at my chart or what?). so i'm somewhat irritated because this just continues my time being off any anti-depressant. which, frankly is somewhat sucky. i've been on an anti-depressant for 10 years. the last 3 years the dosage has been double the previous 7 years. so to be on nothing ... it's difficult to stay on an even keel.

so this little video cheers me up. it's a video of jason castro on american idol. talking about and singing memory from cats.

my favorite part (ok, the part with the talking is much better than the singing IMHO...) is at about 1:25 when he says 'this is kind of a popular song'.

ahahahahaha. so funny. i laughed till i cried.

mostly because that's just about the understatement of the century. ooh hoo hoo.

Labels: headaches, meds, music, pain, update

The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind. -- William James


am trying to keep this idea ^ in mind and keep my attitude positive these days! this past week has been one storm after another. additionally, my anti-depressant dosage (which is also the MAOI) has been cut in half. this is a good thing, as i am weaning off of it. that's what i wanted, but i need 2 weeks of nothing before i can start onto another anti-depressant. and that leads to me feeling more down than usual.

if you don't see me around your blogs - that's why. i'm just kind of meh. not a lot to say. i am going out to lunch with some friends tomorrow, hopefully that will help.

Labels: meds, mood, pain

hello again internet pals!

i'm glad you all enjoyed the bounty cat as much as i did. sometimes all you need is a laugh.

well my decision is made and i'm moving forward. it's something of a compromise, really. the thing is, my doctor (who really is quite an expert, and whose opinion i greatly respect) wanted me to try another MAOI, one which is older than the one i am on now -- Emsam. So they have had better results with the older MAOIs, but the patients also have more side effects, which is why they typically start out with this newest formulation, the patch. One example of an older MAOI (which you may be familiar with is Nardil.

so there are two big reasons i'm not jumping up and down to go onto an older MAOI drug - #1 is the side effects. i don't usually get many side effects, but i got a boatload with Emsam. dizziness, increased appetite and weight gain, and sleep problems. the sleep problems was the most problematic, but the other two weren't great either. if the older ones typically have more side effects....well, i think you see where i'm going with that. no thank you.

#2 is that they require a 5-6 day hospital stay to go onto the MAOIs. they want to monitor my reaction to the drug and particularly my blood pressure. i'm realllly not thrilled about that either. it sounds really immature, but i feel like i just got out of the hospital, and was not planning to go back anytime soon. i certainly wasn't planning to be back within a few months. i just....pfft. the IVs, the needles, the nurses waking you up all night, no privacy. etc. etc. you know, it's just the hospital. they do all they can to make it pleasant, and i recognize it could be much much worse. it's not chemo - it's just the headache and migraine ward. it's just that i really thought i wasn't going back for a long time. the idea of going back SOON is a little disheartening.

SO. my decision. my decision is to try something else first - which is, in this case a tricyclic anti-depressant. if this doesn't work i will try the old MAOI my doctor is recommending. this will give me some time to get used to the idea of going back to the hospital (for less than a week!) and get some sleep stored up before i go back to an MAOI. hopefully i can get my body back to normal for a bit in case it goes all out of whack again. this time, if i see things getting messed up, i think i'll just ask to stop immediately.

has anyone made it through to the end of this marathon blog post? wow, that was long. a gold star for you!

Labels: meds, migraines, pain

two things that are great:

1) this entry about time management and pain at How to Cope with Pain. if nothing else, read the first two paragraphs. Spot on.

2) this is what we had for dinner tonight. the lasagna was delicious. spencer says it may even have taken over his spot as favorite dish (from the previous #1 which was pot roast). thanks again, pioneer woman!

Labels: cooking, links, pain

i came across this poem online recently, and remembered how much i like it. emily dickinson is one of my favorite poets, along with e.e. cummings. this poem seems particularly appropriate lately.


I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, Eyes--
I wonder if It weighs like Mine--
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long--
Or did it just begin--
I could not tell the Date of Mine--
It feels so old a pain--

I wonder if it hurts to live--
And if They have to try--
And whether--could They choose between--
It would not be--to die--

I note that Some--gone patient long--
At length, renew their smile--
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil--

I wonder if when Years have piled--
Some Thousands--on the Harm--
That hurt them early--such a lapse
Could give them any Balm--

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve--
Enlightened to a larger Pain--
In Contrast with the Love--

The Grieved--are many--I am told--
There is the various Cause--
Death--is but one--and comes but once--
And only nails the eyes--

There's Grief of Want--and grief of Cold--
A sort they call "Despair"--
There's Banishment from native Eyes--
In Sight of Native Air--

And though I may not guess the kind--
Correctly--yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary--

To note the fashions--of the Cross--
And how they're mostly worn--
Still fascinated to presume
That Some--are like My Own--

--Emily Dickinson

Labels: headaches, pain

so i thought i would write a little bit about coping with migraines -- what i see as the major facets of coping with chronic migraines. my current situation is a bit different (for me) than it was when i was having episodic migraines, once every month or two. now i am in pain every day, all day. i wake up with a headache, and it's there all day till i go to sleep at night. hopefully some of this will apply to those of you reading here, i know my situation is somewhat (thank goodness!) unique.

to me, there are 4 different parts of coping with migraines. they are the pain, nausea, discouragement, and sleep difficulties that come with migraines. here are my ideas on each topic.

1.Pain

resting in a quiet, dark room -- kind of a given. but for those who haven't experienced migraines, i thought i'd give you the full scope, even things that seem obvious.

i like a cold pack on my forehead -- some people like heat. some people like the cold or heat on the back of their neck. some find a hot shower or bath helpful.

of course there are medications for treating the pain - i'm no expert by any means, so i will link to a few articles that are helpful. here is a list of preventative medications that can be used for migraines. usually preventatives are considered if you are having several migraines a month. i'm not sure what the actual # is -- i'm sure it varies from doctor to doctor anyway. and here is an article about the medications used for treating migraines. and while we're on the topic of using medication, we'd better mention medication overuse (rebound) headaches. don't use your abortive medication too often!

2. Nausea/vomiting

this can be a huge problem or a small part of your situation, depending. i have some nausea, but rarely does it progress to vomiting. i'm lucky. but nevertheless, who likes to be nauseated? so here's my tips and tricks for nausea, in the order i usually try them:
a) mint gum (could also be mint tea or mint candies)
b) 7up or club soda -- i'm leaning towards the club soda lately because i don't like the idea of drinking so much sugar
c) ginger tea
d) emetrol
e) reglan -- my prescription anti-nausea pill
f) from here it's just rinse and repeat -- i try to continue eating bland food, skipping meals will only make the nausea worse and the migraine pain much worse

3. Discouragement

like nausea, this can range from a small problem to full-on depression. i'm sure that having a good support system helps prevent a lot of discouragement, but i also think that even with the best, kindest, and most supportive family (which i believe i have), a person is bound to get discouraged and upset at times if she's in pain all the time.

one of the best things i've found to combat my emotional pain is this idea: This pain is bad, but i've been through pain like this before, and I can get through this too.
it helps keep me from catastrophizing the situation and making it seem harder than it is or like i'm somehow not going to make it through. there are also numerous scriptures that have helped me through difficult times -- i'll share one here "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philipians 4:13. i realize that not everyone is religious, but for me, religion is something i can lean on when things get hard, and has helped me make it through.

4. Sleep difficulties

sleep is hugely important for migraineurs. too little (or too much, they say) and you are bound to suffer the next day. but it can be difficult to get good sleep when you are having regular migraines. it helped me to make it a priority with my doctors to 'fix' my sleep -- if i wasn't regularly able to get to sleep and stay asleep, i let them know and made sure we found solutions. thankfully this problem was easily remedied for me. until i was getting reasonable amounts of sleep (when the migraines first began to be chronic), the entire situation was worse and more difficult to deal with because of the poor quality and lack of sleep i was getting. i guess i just want to point out the importance of a good night's sleep. it's worth the trouble of keeping regular hours and doing all you can to rest well.

hopefully this is helpful for someone -- or even just a reminder that you're not along in your migraine pain. :-)

Labels: headaches, migraines, nausea, pain, pain issues, sleep

i think this is the last one.

here i am having a DHE infusion:
good times. and here's an even worse picture of the same thing.
i'm obviously expounding on some point of immense importance.


this is my room -- it was *tiny*
i did have one of those beds where you could make either end life up or whatever, that was kind of nice. unfortunately, it felt like a piece of hard styrofoam covered in plastic. not my favorite.
and there's my little window -- they had 3 different lights in the room, which was nice, one big overhead one (never on), a set of recessed lights (on during the times i was feeling best), and that reading lamp you can see in the photo above (on for the nurse to put in or change my IV). a very good plan for a headache wing.

and lastly, here is the best view from the hospital:
i was at Saint Joseph's hospital, and it overlooks lake michigan. very pretty. the hospital has its own floor just for headache patients, and while i was there we had classes and although i didn't learn a lot of new information, i did learn some new information. and i was reminded of a lot of things i knew. it's important to reprocess them and maybe bring them back to the forefront of my mind now and again.

i've still been up and down with headache pain since i got home; yesterday and today haven't been good, probably because of the storms coming through. i'm hoping that's the reason, and that it's not a real setback. hoping that once the storms move through i'll go back to having some good hours again.

Labels: diamond headache clinic, migraines, pain

hello again!

here i am again on my own -- going down the only road i've ever known!

people, i've been listening to music again. it's like a revelation. ah, i love it. i miss it.

back on topic.

so i won't bore you with all the details of the appointment. but suffice it to say that the doctor heard all about my headaches, the history of them, and the everyday-ness of them.

after all that, he decided he'd change basically all my medicines. 2 or 3 have remained the same, but most are changed. i was a bit nervous about changing one particularly - the tegretol is one of the only things i've gotten relief from on a daily basis. it also was controlling the seizure disorder.

but this doctor has dealt with many patients like me, whose migraines and headaches are resistant to treatment. i'm willing to try anything, you know -- it's not a lifetime commitment, just a commitment to try something for a while.

so i went into the hospital, and i went off the old meds, and slowly onto the new meds. surprisingly, there are even more pills than there were before. i have magnesium, a couple anti-seizure, a sedative, an anti-psychotic, a beta-blocker, anti-depressant, and magnesium. so wow. but like i said. the man has done this before, and seen good results before. oftentimes the key for cracking this is in combinations of meds and other treatments.

so those are the meds -- while i was in the hospital, the first days were spent with DHE infusions every 8 hours. i was hating the IV (even more than the rest of the stay), but enjoying the relief the infusions brought. they also brought a great deal of nausea, the first anti-nausea drug didn't work. but we got a hold on that and it was smooth sailing for a while. then after 3 days, the course of DHE was done, and it was time to start trying other things -- the ones i remember offhand were depacon, norflex, benadryl & inapsin, and magnesium..... eh, that's all i can think of. so the only one of those that offered any relief was magnesium. that was surprising because i had tried (for 3 months) daily magnesium tablets without any results. but these magnesium infusions brought a great deal of relief. so once we figured that out, we started those every 8 hours.

as the stay progressed, we started to see this change -- instead of waking up every morning with some of the worst pain of the day, i wake up with the lowest pain levels....like a 3 or 4 out of 10. my headaches have NEVER in the whole of the past 3 years gone down (without painkillers or triptans) that low. so that's major. they only stay low for a few hours BUT it is progress.

progress is progress and we haven't had much of that before now, have we? so while it's frustrating to see my pain levels climb through the day, i need to try and remain grateful for the good time and the things i can get done doing those good hours.

one of the other things i've been doing since i got back is waking up a lot earlier -- i'm trying to wake up at the same time everyday. i've done that once before without any results. but it'll be much easier to do when i feel good in the mornings. also, i learned about biofeedback and will be practicing that everyday for 20 minutes. at first, even though i was achieving the goals (physically) of biofeedback, i wasn't seeing any results on my headache. HOWEVER, a few days before i left i started seeing some relief from using biofeedback. not a lot, but some.

so that's the deal! give yourself a major pat on the back if you've made it this far. :) and thanks for all your positive thoughts and prayers. they were greatly appreciated.

Labels: diamond headache clinic, headaches, pain

i just read an entry by a pain pal of mine, Barbara. it reminded me of one thing that pain has given me. i spend a lot of time thinking about and complaining about what pain has taken from me, blah blah blah.

but one would think that a person could learn a few things from being in pain for three years...it's true. maybe i've got more to learn.

but reading her entry helped me realize that pain has taught me at least one thing...it's taught me how to enjoy and appreciate the little things in life.

my niece's smile, a sunny day, a warm blanket, pain i can ignore. ah, bliss. before pain (BP) life hurried by and i worked hard to get things done. i'm trying to learn to value people not for what they can DO, but for what they ARE. it goes against my instincts.

Labels: pain, thoughts

i got a book in the mail today! it's called All In My Head -- by Paula Kamen. the subtitle is 'an epic quest to cure an unrelenting, totally unreasonable, and only slightly enlightening headache.

you can see why i might like it.

i've read it once before, it was a good read. then when i figured i was going to want to read it again, and possibly loan it to friends.....you know. decided i should probably just buy it.

headache friends, if you haven't read this, get it from the library. it was fabulous to read about someone else's experiences who mirrored my own so closely.

other friends (and family), if you're interested in knowing more about my life -- this would be an ideal read. i'm not much of a writer, but Paula Kamen is.

Labels: books, headaches, pain

hello everyone!

i hope you've had a perfectly lovely monday. i got to spend a good deal of it with my mom and my sister (and my sister's kids, and my littlest sister!), so i couldn't be better. i'm tired, of course, but we had lots of fun.

i thought i would tell you all about one of my most favorite Christmas gifts (there were many favorites) -- it's a wedge pillow.

here we go; they say a picture is worth a thousand words....
it's that. a wedge-shaped pillow. and not only can you use it like that, but when you're awake and resting in bed, you can sit up and lean against the long edge of it. like this:



you see what i mean ?

anyways, it's great. it'd be a great gift idea if you know someone who has to spend a lot of time in bed resting, or a great present for those migraineurs to give themselves. :)

it is *way* more comfortable than trying to stack pillows around.

p.s. - i know you've never seen such high quality images. what can i say, i'm just that good. or amazon is. one of the two.

Labels: migraines, pain, randomness

i had another doctor's appointment today, at the pain clinic. it was a reasonably good appointment, some things i was hoping to figure out got worked out, and a couple of things got worked out in a way i'm not entirely fond of.

but coming away from it, i find myself disappointed, frustrated and sad. frustrated is mostly b/c i now have *another* doctor to see; they want me to see their in-house psychologist. blech. i saw one of their psychologists last year, and she felt like she had taught me all she could, etc....

but i think that i'm frustrated and sad for reasons i don't entirely understand. do i still subconsciously think that the doctors are going to FIX this whole thing one day? that i'll go to an appointment and they'll have figured it all out? i don't know. it's the kind of thing you hope for, but know that it's probably unreasonable. my doctors seem to feel like any improvements we see are going to be incremental. i think my pain clinic doc may feel like i need to learn to deal with my pain better, as it may be around the rest of my life.

i just have got to believe that we will cut down on the frequency....

to all my migraine and headache friends out there: have any of you been to the diamond headache clinic (in chicago?) if so, tell me all about it.

Labels: doctors, migraines, pain, pain clinic

Happy New Year!

welcome 2008. i just got home from a neurologist appointment. the funny thing is, i'm in Pennsylvania. Sooooo this was a one-time appointment. i was hoping for an outside perspective, and was happy with how it went.

he (the doctor) did a full neurological exam, and we went over the entire history of my headaches. then he said, 'you have a complicated problem, and there is no easy answer.'

i'm getting better at hearing that, and didn't start crying. impressive, right?

he said that if i were his daughter, he'd send me to a headache clinic. that i'd be able to have behavioral therapies there, including biofeedback and such, and they are equipped to handle this kind of thing.

so while i'm not one for making resolutions at the new year (i'd rather make changes as i see i need them, not all at once), my hope is for a turnaround with pain this year. even if things just start heading the other direction, that would be great.

it is hard to imagine spending so much money on this kind of thing - that has no guarantees of working. but i need to remind myself of HOW MUCH i want to be better. and if money will get that done, then so be it.

any new year's resolutions you'd like to share?

Labels: doctors, headaches, migraines, New Year, pain

a great list of gift ideas for the chronically ill can be found here: lots of good thoughts! check it out!

Labels: pain, pain issues

i'm ripping off a question from my friend Kimberlie: what one beauty product can you not live without? could be makeup, could be hair product......lotion, even.

i'm dying to know.

for me, it's a tie. i wear makeup nearly everyday, but almost always just eye makeup. so i can't live without my lash curler and mascara.

now on to other business.

let me tell you about my latest homeopathic .....diagnosis.

first, let me praise sugar and flour and milk, because i am OFF THE DIET!!! hooray for eating (almost) anything i want!! no reading labels, no passing up on delicious looking desserts. hooray for being able to eat candy for christmas!!

so that obviously didn't help, which is why it's over. i went to see a homeopathic chiropractor, recommended by my homeopathic doctor for his diagnostic capabilities. and i have to say...it was interesting. i'm still not sure i really *believe* that his methods work, or are ...real. HOWEVER, i am withholding judgment until the treatments have a chance to work. if they're going to help, it will be within the next 2 weeks.

if you're interested in the diagnostic methods he used, read this - obviously a skeptic, and then this, from the International College of Applied Kinesiology. i'm not going to go into it anymore than that.

but anywho, after spending an hour with me, we did a few chiropractic adjustments, and he developed 3 diagnoses that he says are contributing to my migraines.

1 - mercury poisoning. from my fillings. and i later thought of the fact that i did get 8 or 10 (i know) fillings the summer my migraines started getting more and more frequent.... i didn't tell him that though.
2 - virus in my brain stem. would not have been detected in the spinal tap.
3 - my body doesn't make enough neurotransmitters.

and so there are homeopathic pills and capsules and such for these things, which we went ahead with buying -- i don't plan to invest any more $$ in this area if this doesn't help.

i *am* still looking for a recommendation for an acupuncturist. i think that area has some possibilities.

that's my update, folks! don't forget, tell me about your favorite beauty product in comments!

Labels: headaches, homeopathy, meds, pain, pain issues, randomness

thanks for your kind thoughts about my recent migraine cycle -- they are appreciated, as are prayers.

and now, for something completely different, i give you Florence Foster Jenkins.

there are no words.

Labels: migraines, pain, youtube

You Belong in 1989

Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

Labels: diet, meds, meme, migraines, pain

footwear friday is going to be late.

i'm sick - and my head hurts.

BUT i am committed to bringing my readers shoe loveliness. ;-)

Labels: Footwear Friday, pain

this entry's for you, Migraine Chick!

thanks for all the feedback and ideas on the last entry! i found some more pain/headache blogs that i'll be stopping by again.

there was a request made for me to expound on my nausea tricks and fixes. i will GLADLY share what i've found, and welcome more ideas in the comments section. it's been 2 1/2 years that i've had this daily pain, but i know that compared to many, i'm just a beginner. ;)

so here are my favorite nausea fixes:

1. 7-up (many people use ginger ale, i've also heard flat coke and the like)
2. ginger tea
3. peppermint gum, mints, etc. something that keeps the mint flavor going.
4. cool pack on my forehead, doesn't necessarily get rid of the nausea, but helps me feel better while i'm working on it.
5. OTC - Emetrol. it is sickly sweet, but if you can choke it down, it often does the job. there's also generics at most drugstores.
6. finally, i have a prescription anti-nausea drug - i take reglan. but of course, there are many different drugs to help different ppl., so check with your doctor. this is my equivalent to a 'rescue drug', i rarely have to take it, but when i do, i'm so glad it's there.
7. i've also gone to the urgent care w/migraines - my main concern being not the pain but that i hadn't been able to keep anything down for a few days. they filled me up w/fluids and found an injectable anti-nausea med for me.

hopefully this helps - maybe there was something in there you hadn't heard about before?

what do you do for nausea? what works and what doesn't?

Labels: ideas, meds, nausea, pain

previous

• onward and upward
• something big is coming.....to a sassy lime near y...
• Hard Conversations and Tough Choices
• starting off with some random movie quotes
• Father's Day
• I Won!?!
• schtuff
• About four years ago this week, Spencer proposed t...
• the spotlight is on me!
• The greatest discovery of my generation is that ma...

archives

• October 2005
• November 2005
• December 2005
• January 2006
• February 2006
• March 2006
• April 2006
• May 2006
• June 2006
• July 2006
• August 2006
• September 2006
• October 2006
• November 2006
• December 2006
• January 2007
• February 2007
• March 2007
• April 2007
• May 2007
• June 2007
• July 2007
• August 2007
• September 2007
• October 2007
• November 2007
• December 2007
• January 2008
• February 2008
• March 2008
• April 2008
• May 2008
• June 2008

Links to Blogs I love!

• Consider This...
• Crib Ceiling
• Daring Young Mom
• Diary of the Nello
• Don't Try This at Home
• HolyMama!
• It's not the volts that kill you...
• Juggling Sanity
• Lupe's Spot
• Magically Mama -- Now, where did I put my wand again?
• Mental Excrements
• Mothering on the Edge
• Muum's Musings
• The Osh Kosh Chronicles
• Owlhaven
• ParisDailyPhoto
• ...peanut tales in a nutshell
• Pink Chihuahua Princess
• Princess Mom
• Richard & Gretchen
• Rocks in my Dryer
• Save Leigh Ann
• Say la Vee
• Snickerdoodles
• The Big Trade-Off
• The Big Yellow House
• The Book Lady
• This Fish - Needs a Bicycle
• Tripping over Cobblestone
• Walking Kateastrophe
• Wind Lost
• Weathering Migraine Storms

credits

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