Tuesday, February 27, 2007
things are looking up

i hate to leave that last post up at the top. it's very negative, and angry. i try not to be that way. sometimes, i guess life's little frustrations get the best of us all.

one thing that seems to be going better is my general mood.....this is kind of hard to put into words. but here it is: it seems that despite having the same pain, i'm more able to enjoy the moment i'm in, more able to find joy in relationships and laughter. not that i've 'arrived' or what have you - there is still a long ways to go. but i feel more like my old self emotionally, like i can see that the pain's there, and without ignoring it per se, focus on what is good and important and real. i am beginning to be able to feel thankful for the good days. to be honest, i was always just resentful before - how can you be thankful for a day during which you're in constant pain? sure, it's more bearable than some other days, but it's pain! all day! slowly, with the help of my dear husband, i'm coming to see that a good day is a good day because it is better than the other ones. regardless of how that stacks up to how life 'used to be'.

this whole thing might not make any sense. i bet it will to my migraine friends. it's taken more than 2 years of chronic pain to reach this point. and it's not the best point -- but it's a distinct improvement.

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

here is my blog's word cloud. interesting.

it's doctor venting time.

so nearly 3 weeks ago, i called my neurologist. he had ASKED ME to call him when i was done w/my med trial. **sigh** you can see where this is going, right? well it took a week and a half to get him on the phone. he was busy. fine, fine -- i don't think i'm unreasonable, i'm just in pain and want you to return my phone calls, darnit! so he calls back. i tell him how the trial went (no help whatsoever). he says he'll have to 'look at my chart and call me back'. what?! why on earth are you calling me now w/o looking at my chart? ridiculous. so i call back today, b/c it's been at least another week since that gem of a phone call, and ask his assistant to page him for me.

so my neuro calls me back today. gets on the phone and asks if i had been taking the baby aspirin with the verapamil. like i'm out to sabotage this or something. of course not. i took the baby aspirin. he seems surprised by this, and then says that since we've 'tried everything dr. (migraine expert) suggested, i will send you back for another consultation with her.'

at this point, i'm thinking dude, you never even looked at my chart did you? unreal.

i tell him that dr. migraine expert actually had another suggestion, involving CoQ10 and a few other vitamins/minerals. my neuro (the guy i'm on the phone with) says, 'let me go look at your chart, hold on just a minute.'

you have got to be kidding.

this guy doesn't even remember from one appointment to the next (with me sitting in front of him) who i am or that i have DAILY HEADACHES. he thinks he can call patients back w/o looking at their charts?!!?!? winging it? so ridiculous.

he gets back on the line, says, 'yes i see her recommendation w/the CoQ10. i don't use that as a migraine preventative, so i'll need to have my assistant call her office for the dosages to use. my assistant will call you back.'

so if i were dealing with this nonsense and had some adequate pain control, that'd be one thing. but the meds they're giving me aren't preventing the headaches, and i only have one abortive that really helps! people, do i have to beg? just help me!

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
HolyMama's club 17

I put a button up on my sidebar!! this was all made possible by the Desert Diva. Thanks!!

now, about the button:
this is a button b/c i participate in HolyMama's Club 17! Basically a reminder to check breasts once per month for lumps. a great reminder, that i need!!

go here to read more about it. :)

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Monday, February 19, 2007
i'm on facebook!

that's right, i have joined the legions of 20-somethings on facebook.

hope to reconnect w/some old friends and annoy my little sister enough that she starts blogging. ha! we'll see.

mostly wanted to say that if any of you are on facebook, let me know! we can be 'friends'. :)

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007
in the news

in the past few days, there have been 2 tragic losses of life here in salt lake city.

the first was this past weekend, where a family was hit by an (alleged) drunk driver - the pregnant mother was killed, one of their sons, and their daughter. i truly can't imagine the pain of losing your wife and 2 children in the same instant.

this accident took place on a street near our home. they attended another ward in our church building.

then last night, a man went to the trolley square mall and opened fire. he killed 5 - many more were wounded. this mall is just downtown - i've eaten in that hard rock cafe before.

multiple people were also killed in philadelphia in a similar attack.

i feel so sad for the families of those who have lost loved ones. there is no making sense of such tragic deaths.

and so i am more thankful for waking up alive another day; for the breath God has given me.

Monday, February 12, 2007

it looks like i'm averaging about 1 blog post a week. unimpressive.

this week - valentine's day. i have already bought my husband a fun present, wish i could tell you all about it, but since he reads here too....you will have to wait!! i've been resisting buying him valentine's day chocolates -- hopefully i can make it till after valentine's day!

our plans -- dinner at 6 at benihana - a teppanyaki restaurant downtown. after that? who knows. maybe some ice cream if we're not too full. :)


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

my most recently added med, norpramin, is the one that's been giving me side effects; moreso than any other med i've tried. and that's really saying something.

there was the dry mouth, the dizziness -- and i really think it was messing with my sleep schedule (this is not ok!). but also, it seems to have made my headaches *worse*. not what we're after. i forgot to take it yesterday, and after a better day today, feel vindicated in my belief, and i'm not taking it anymore.

i declare this trial OVER.

i'll just go back to my 'usual' level of headaches, thankyouverymuch.

Friday, February 02, 2007

i've been a bad blogger lately.

i've been reading your blogs, i just haven't had anything remotely entertaining to write about on my OWN blog.

i got a new cookbook a couple/3 weeks ago -- saving dinner. this was on recommendation from my sister (no blog) :( and after i tried it out (thank you library) for a while. it's a great book. it comes w/shopping lists for each week's menu. the really good part is that the recipes are good & tasty (for the most part) and easy. we need the easy.

the brother's homecoming went well -- i nearly cried when he was coming down the escalator & we saw him for the first time. it's been 2 years, ya'll. i'm so glad to have him back.

this weekend; second christmas. our family didn't celebrate christmas together on dec. 25 -- we wanted to wait till my brother came home. soooo we've had christmas, but we haven't had second christmas. (little LOTR reference there...)

i need to introduce a few new blogs & stick them on my blogroll --
one is another of my 'migraine' friends (she has them too) Deb at Weathering Migraine Storms.
and the other is my friend jeff - his is probably the only political/social commentary blog on my blogroll.

definitely worth a read. :)

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Location: Salt Lake City, Utah, United States

I'm 25 - married, and recently graduated from Brigham Young University, studying music; I play piano. My husband is just starting his PhD program at the University of Utah in computer architecture.



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